Something "Broken"

by - Sunday, July 31, 2016

Since moving back to the mainland we have been close enough to visit family frequently. Many of you who know me personally, know that I am a small town girl at heart. I love my hometown and the people in it. I love where I come from and I am very close to my family. There is just something about going home.

Week 3 of my gratitude challenge is Family. There are so many things to be grateful for when it comes to my family. All of my family. But while thinking about what I wanted to post about I decided I would write about why I'm grateful for my immediate family just the way it is. You will see what I mean by this.

 I am child of a "broken" home. At first, I hated this term. I don't think most people would like to define themselves, or their situations as being broken. It was a harsh word for a harsh situation. I will not go in to details about the situations surrounding my parents divorce because that is something I typically only share with those close to me. But I want to share some of my story with you so that you can understand fully why I am now very grateful for my "broken" home. 

I was 12 when my parents got divorced and my sister was 9. I've always been a pretty mature person and so I took this situation as time for me to grow up. It was time, in my eyes, to step up for my little sister and to help out as much as I could. But as mature as I was at the age of 12, I could still hold a grudge. And it took a very long time for me to get over the hurt I felt during this huge life shaking event. My relationship with my mom really suffered. I wasn't the nicest of people to her and I sure wasn't forgiving. 

Over the next couple of years I learned to get up early and get ready for school and help my little sister. I learned to take on responsibility and I learned to forgive. I learned to let go of what I could, and to work on what I couldn't. New people came and went in my new life, but there were some that stuck by us and helped us and cared for Ariana and I, which was something my dad really needed. Everything was different and I started to realize that we weren't "broken" anymore. 

One of the things that I most love about our heavenly father is that He takes things that are broken and He makes them new again. Everything that I knew fell apart when I was 12. Going through that situation and looking back, I realize that my family needed to "break" for us to be what we are today. I cannot tell you what life would have been like if my parents had stayed together or if the situations surrounding their divorce never happened. I can tell you though that I believe with my whole heart that I would not be who I am today. I don't believe I would be as strong as I am now. I do not believe my mom and I would have a close relationship like we do now. I do not believe that I would be as good of a mom as I am now if I hadn't gone through those things.

Today, I am still a daddy's girl. I love going to my childhood home and reminiscing about all of my memories there. I have a great friendship with my sister and a bond that was made so deep because she needed me more than most sisters need each other. I have a great relationship with my mom and our past has been forgiven though never forgotten. Because to forget would not be fair to who we are and how far we have come. We are not all together, but we are not broken. We are a family. A family of very strong individuals that don't give up. A family that drops everything the moment we are needed. A family that God foresaw even when we could not see past our pain. 

We were once broken, but in His timing and in His own special way we were made a new family. A different family sure, but still a family. I am so grateful for the family I have today. I am grateful for the situations that taught me how to be strong and how to forgive. I am grateful for the opportunities to be responsible and helpful. To love when it was hard to and to let go of what I couldn't change. 

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